7 Dogs
Directors: Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah
Cast: Ahmed Ezz, Karim Abdel Aziz, Monica Bellucci, Nasser Al Qasabi, Sayed Ragab, Tara Emad, Sandy Bella, Giancarlo Esposito, Salman Khan, and Sanjay Dutt
Rating: ★★
Get Smart (2008), starring Steve Carell, was quite a funny film. A spoof of the James Bond movies, it followed a bumbling spy who somehow had to save the day. I bring it up while reviewing 7 Dogs because this film feels like it was torn from the same playbook. The crucial difference? Get Smart knew it was a joke. 7 Dogs seems blissfully unaware and is not even as funny.
What is 7 Dogs about?
The only thing 7 Dogs’ directors, Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah, manage to replicate consistently is the Hollywood feel of films built around time-bound missions. This story follows a cop and a convict who are forced to team up to find out exactly what the ‘Pink Lady’ is and, in the process, uncover the identities of the seven Dogs, a group of international criminals.
The film takes the duo across the world, in a setup that occasionally feels like a less exciting version of Mission: Impossible- Ghost Protocol.
One of their stops is India, where they encounter Salman Khan and Sanjay Dutt. This is, perhaps, the most underwhelming either actor has looked on screen in a long time. For starters, there are distracting audio issues in their scenes, with their dialogue often sounding poorly integrated into the film.
The problem is that neither appearance carries any real sense of excitement or menace. They are on screen for barely five minutes each, and both performances seem to conflate animation with the swagger of a Hollywood action film. Instead of making the India portions feel like a big international detour, their cameos end up looking like obligatory star appearances that the film has no idea how to use.
Oh, and then there is India. Even for a film made in Riyadh, the visual shorthand remains the same: dingy, overcrowded streets and hungry children. It is a tired way of depicting the country, and one wishes filmmakers would simply move on from this overused template.
Where the film lacks
The screenplay is also weighed down by forced humour, with jokes routinely inserted. The first half, in particular, is painfully predictable, offering little in the way of twists or turns. Robrecht Heyvaert’s camerawork, thankfully, brings some visual flair to the proceedings, with a few inventive shots. The action set pieces, however, are lazy, relying on familiar staging rather than finding ways to make the missions feel either fresh or thrilling.
Monica Bellucci, in a special appearance, gives us one of her laziest performances so far.
Overall, 7 Dogs feels less like an action comedy and more like an extended audition for one. It has the expensive-looking locations and the obligatory explosions (Guinness World Record holder for the loudest explosion by the way), but none of the confidence or comic timing to hold them together. The film wants to be a Hollywood-style flick. Unfortunately, all it has is the swagger of a tourist taking a selfie outside the studio gates.