Bengaluru: The job of being both the leader of the team and its key batsman left him burned out, former India captain Virat Kohli said at the Indian Sports Summit, organised by the RCB Innovation Lab on Tuesday.
“I ended up being in a place where I became the focal point of our batting unit and the focal point of leadership. I didn’t realise how much of load both those things will present in my daily life, to be honest. But because I was so driven to just make sure that Indian cricket stays on top, I didn’t really pay attention to it. And that’s precisely why by the time I left captaincy, I was completely spent. There was nothing left in the tank. I was completely consumed by it. It was gruesome,” said Kohli, India’s most successful Test captain with 40 wins in 68 matches.
The 37-year-old stepped down as Test captain in January 2022 after a series loss in South Africa, barely a month after he was replaced by Rohit Sharma as India’s ODI captain.
“The reason you’re given a leadership role is because people believe you can take on more and still manage it. In many ways, leadership is more about management than even coaching. It’s about understanding the people playing with you and for you, and figuring out how to get the best out of them. To do that, you constantly have to be in a space where you’re not focused on yourself. You don’t even think about whether someone is going to ask you, ‘Are you okay?’ That thought doesn’t even cross your mind.
“But towards the end of my captaincy tenure, I did look back and realise that no one had really asked me that question for almost nine years – ‘How are you doing?’”
Only after he left captaincy did Kohli begin to open up about the burden of managing expectations and battling burnout.
“I had a great run in Test cricket in 2023. Rahul bhai (Dravid) and Vikram Rathour really took care of me in a way that made me feel like I want to play for them. They made me realise what I’ve done so far…They took care of me mentally…Whenever I meet them I thank them from the bottom of my heart.”
In 2023, Kohli scored 671 runs in eight Tests at an average of 55.91.
“As a player, not many people know, it’s a very thin line between being cautious and being insecure. You always feel like you’re never good enough. It’s the imposter syndrome. Even if I go to the nets today, I feel like these youngsters are watching and if I have a bad nets session, they’re going to be like, ‘this is the guy who’s been playing for 20 years.’ So that’s always at the back of your mind. You have to keep up with your own standards.”
Calling the mental aspect of the game the only challenge he has faced in the last few years, Kohli said in recent months he’s in a space where he’s enjoying his cricket. “I’m not really bothered about getting out or whether I get runs. For me, it’s just about adapting to the situation and mentally unlocking myself to play shots.”
Kohli, who averaged an extraordinary 50 across formats, believes players today can choose how they want to chart their path in the game. “A lot of people relate drive to money nowadays. Yes, it’s a big factor because when a format gives you hype and fame by scoring 40 or 50 off 20 balls and the kind of money that people can make in IPL today, it can put you in a very comfortable space and say, ‘you know what, this is brilliant. I don’t need to handle pressure for too long. I can just go out there and smash the ball.’ Or you can say, I want to play for 15-20 years and get the recognition and respect of the cricketing world. It’s going to be very, very hard but I’m up for it.”
Busting the hyperbole around cricket’s physical standards, Kohli – synonymous with peak fitness and discipline in sport, offered a blunt assessment, placing it in perspective against other, more physically demanding sports.
“Since cricket is such a prime focus in our country, we tend to neglect other sports. We are not even 15% of the fitness of an Indian hockey player, if I have to be brutally honest. If they look at our training, they’ll probably laugh. Their sport demands way more.”